Set in December 2008
Pairing: Jon and Chris
Disclaimer: FAN FICTION
Rated PG 13 for a mild booze scene. Sex: They don't get that intimate, sorry.
INTERIOR OF HOME
This is a Yuletide tale of of who a rock magazine has called a "musical elf"...
We see holiday decorations throughout the home, on a dining room table are assembled place mat markers: Jon and Jane and the names of their grown children, Deborah, Jade, and Damion.
Jon is hard at work baking cakes, cookies, Noel bars, etc before leaving for holiday shopping. The conventional oven is busy so Jon plans to use the convection oven for the fruitcake.
Jon removes pieces of leftover dried fruit from a plastic and mixes it into a cake batter, he pour the batter onto a baking pan then places it into a preheated convection oven--but the pan doesn't fit--s___t! Jon searches the kitchen for a smaller pan finding nothing!
Jon: Damn! Every time I use a baking pan Jane seems to hide it from me!
(Jon tears the cabinets apart looking for a smaller pan--we can see the frustation in Jon's face, we can hear it in Jon voice). Finally, Jon opens a never used dishwasher and finds the sought-after baking pan.
Close up shot of completed fruit cake cooling on a wire rack.
Jon: I'm so glad I was able to get the sucker into the oven in time, I thought I was going to have a fruit-flavored brick!
CUT TO OUTSIDE IN RAINY ROAD
Jon is driving to the mall to go holiday shopping. Jon passes a house decorated for the holidays. Jon notices large Santa and Sleigh lights hanging far too low over the walkway.
JON: OK, how do you get into the house?
Since moving to the US Jon discovered an unofficial holiday after Thanksgiving--BLACK FRIDAY! Which is scarier, facing rowdy shoppers seeking a bargin or the remote chance of being mobbed by fans? In Jon's condition it would be the shoppers!
JON: I remember my first encounter with Black Friday. I barely got out into the parking lot when I nearly got ran over by a shopper's car!
Stepping out of the car Jon finds the situation so daunting the singer takes out an inhaler. Take a deep breath. Wrap a scarf around your nose and mouth, go into a store to shop.
Jon enters but the other shoppers think Jon is a robber and freak out!
Jon arrives home with bags of presents for family and friends...what about the band?
Here is a statement from Jon's blog:
Disappointed that, with the exception of one phone call from Alan, none of the guys have been in touch since my illness, just to find out how I am doing, and how we will foresee the future for YES. And disappointed that they were not willing to wait till 2009 when I’m fully recovered.
And I feel very disrespected, having spent most of this year creating songs and constant ideas for the band, spending time with Roger Dean creating a stage design, also working with VH1 and Sirius and XM Radio to help promote the welfare of YES.
Getting sick was not “on my radar”, and I thank my own angel Janeee and my family for helping me through this difficult time, and the many well wishers, friends and fans alike, for understanding that ”things happen”.
Of course I wish the guys all the best in their ’solo’ work, but I just wish this could have been done in a more gentlemanly fashion. After all YES is a precious musical band.
This is not YES on tour…
I send best wishes to one and all,
PAN TO JON
Showered in sleepwear resting in a recliner, drinking holiday spiced tea to warm up.
reflecting on when Jon first met bassist Chris Squire at a place called La Classe--suddenly Jon hears a knock on the door. Jon assumes it is wife Jane.
Jon's looks through a peep hole before opening the door.
CUT TO JON'S SURPRISED FACE, THEN TO DOOR
It is a figure bearing a resembence to the Spirit of Xmas Present:
Very tall, a broad coat, broad (fake) fur lined hat! Jon expected the figure to give a jolly "You have never seen the likes of me?!"
No, not the Spirit of Xmas Present it's the flesh and blood presence of Chris Squire: "Happy Holidays" whips out a bouquet of pointsettas.
What about the tour?
We're on a break for the holidays.
JON (gets over the surprise of seeing Chris) Oh, thank you for the pointsettas. (takes them)
(Jon glaces down at the bag of gifts realizing there's nothing for Chris. What to do.)
CHRIS: I'm almost done shopping, how about you?
JON: I'm not sure now. Excuse me, I have cookies in the oven. (Gets up and goes to the kitchen. Tears well up in Jon's eyes. Chris wonders if Jon's asthma is acting up again, follows Jon into the kitchen.)
CHRIS: Are you having trouble breathing?
JON: No, I'm fine.
(On the table are a row of pies, however Jon's instantly spots trouble with one of them--a huge fly on it! YUCK! While Jon opens the oven door to get the cookies, Chris pokes the fly into the pie shaking with silent laughter. Jon places the cookie laden cookie sheet on the table but Jon spots the small hole in the pie and smooths over the hole, then marks the pie maybe to give it to Chris turning the tables on this prank)
(Chris tries to cheer Jon up with a few tour stories)
Before we took a break from the tour to be with our families...
(The band is having a holiday celebration and Jon notices Rick has had a little much holiday cheer--and is getting ready to leave!)
Rick, you're in no condition to drive yourself, I'm calling a cab.
No, I'll be fine!
RICK: I can show you I can!
JON: You can? (Gets a pen, holds it in front of Ricks face)
watch this pen--wait until I tell to start-don't mave your head!
(Jon moves the pen side to side, down and up Rick's eyes follow the pen.
Jon raises the pen Rick's eyes turn up roll completely up.)
Rick: Can I leave now?
JON: No, I have another test.
Jon demostrates test, extending arms out at sides of body.
JON: Touch your nose with each finger.
(Rick touch everything on his head but his nose!)
Rick: Now can I...
Jon: I have one more test, it's the easiset one, recite the alphabet.
RICK: A..B..C... what come after D?
JON: I've seen enough! I'm calling a cab!
BACK TO PRESENT
CHRIS: How about what happened over ten years ago...
(Jon and Chris are at a department store parking lot loading their cars with holiday presents for their families at home. They are approached by a well dressed, obviously a well to do person--they quickly discover thie person is not interest in an autograph!)
WELL DRESSED PERSON: Can you give me some money to buy some shoes?
(Jon and Chris are shocked)
JON OVERVOICE: This person was just trying to imitate panhandlers!
JON: (to well dressed person)
You have a lot of nerve! Who do you think we are? Your parents?!
CHRIS OVERVOICE: Some bystanders told Rolling Stone Magazine and we had to explain we weren't being mean to someone in need!
JON: Did you really mean what you said in your public statement about me...I'm part of the band?
(Chris picks up and carries Jon across the room setting Jon down on Jon's feet.)
CHRIS: Uh, huh.
(Chris gets down on his knees and gives Jon a very needed hug. Soon they are cheek to cheek...they kiss. Jon looks up, they are underneath the mistletoe.)
(Jon is packing some cookies and a pie for Chris to take home--the good pie--is it the good pie? Chris goes out the door suddenly Jon notices the fly pie gone!)
JON: (On cellphone)
Chris, get rid of the pie! I'll get you another one!